The Unofficial Survival Guide to Motherhood

By Jeanette Bellinger, Expansion Speech Therapy Parent

Hello, my name is Jeanette. I am a mom of six. I have been working full-time since my early college years (10 years ago), and now I am a stay-at-home mom (not by choice) with a lot going on. I am hoping to share my experiences, tools, skills, and my very human moments in a way that brings joy, understanding, and most importantly, lifts some of that mom guilt we all feel at times.

When I first started writing, I kept restarting, trying to find something catchy or fun. Then I realized that my main goal as a parent is to keep my children alive at all costs. And as long as I don’t have to sit at a table with bad lighting, showing baby pictures and giving examples of how they were “good kids,” only for the music to start and turn into a Netflix documentary… then I’ve won the parenting battle.

For this first piece, I want to share my five simple rules I use to help keep me sane and prevent meltdowns. I am not a single mother; however, let’s be honest, if mom doesn’t do it, it doesn’t get done, or the kids don’t think it’s done correctly. Lucky us, we have the magic touch.

Rule Number One: Just Go With It
I understand that we base our parenting responses on facts, evidence, and important studies. But when you’re losing it and trying to find a solution, sometimes you have to put the books down. We try so hard to explain why they should do something or figure out exactly what’s going on. It’s okay to step away from that. It’s okay to not name every behavior or fix every moment. They are still children, and children do childlike things. Not everything is part of a bigger issue.

Rule Number Two: They Cry, I Overwork, I Cry
Let’s be honest, sometimes we all just need a minute. I’ve learned this from being overwhelmed and trying to stop every meltdown or figure out exactly what’s wrong. Sometimes that creates more stress than support. It’s okay to let a meltdown happen while you stay present. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re giving space for everyone to reset. A lot of the time, that’s what actually helps them come back and communicate what they need.

Rule Number Three: Mom vs. the Entire House
Say this with me: I need a minute.
We forget that if we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t take care of anyone else. Everything that feels urgent to them is not always urgent in that moment. Especially when I’m cooking dinner or handling something for the family, I used to feel pulled in every direction.

Now, when one of my children comes to show me something or ask for something, I acknowledge them and say, “Hold that thought, I’ll be with you when I’m done.” I’ve started using the idea of “mommy time,” where I clearly say what I’m doing. I even play music so they begin to understand and recognize that time.

If they interrupt, I calmly repeat the boundary and follow through. Over time, they learn to wait, not because they’re in trouble, but because they understand.

Rule Number Four: We Are All Guessing
It’s okay to guess. I say that because I feel like we, especially moms, feel like we are supposed to know everything. People tell me all the time, “You have enough kids, you must know.” I don’t. I still read labels. I still second-guess. I still hope I’m getting it right. That’s parenting. It’s learning as you go and giving yourself permission to not have all the answers.

Rule Number Five: Let’s Move On
Do not get stuck on mistakes. Do not hold on to every “I could’ve done that better.” We all parent from our own experiences, and we try to do things differently, and that’s okay. But what works against us is holding on to guilt. The should’ve, could’ve, would’ve thoughts don’t help us move forward. Let it go. Learn from it and keep going.